TMI…… I just finished watching porn and it was raunchy and I really enjoyed it. When i was done, My eyes watered up and I immediately thought to myself, how could that guy disrespect himself like that? How could he just let people use him any kind of way and did he really do THAT? He is disgusting and he should be ashamed of himself. Ummmmmm skirrrrrt, who was watching and imagining that it was him the whole time? Yup, ME!
I instantly wrote this keynote and laid in bed and reflected for a moment. There are so many things sexually that I have never done that I imagine doing sometimes. Yet a part of my mind says I could never and my heart screams louder in saying it’s not really what i want. I then find myself downing others for having threesomes, randoms, and doing crazy little sexual acts. Some things I used to frown upon and then later had the experience and realized it’s not that bad. Most importantly IT’S NOT ANYONES BUSINESS but the persons involved. If you do something and don’t like it or feel dirty or terrible afterward then fine you have the right to be ashamed of yourself. Don’t project your shame on the next person!
I find that this is what happens with me often times. I used to smoke cigarettes when I drank alcohol, now i don’t smoke at all and I curl my lip up at people who do. If it was healthy i would still be doing it. In fact there are a lot of things that if not personally affected i would be experiencing and doing and because I don’t and some have the freedom to I judge them.
The fact of the matter is, I am ashamed of other people for the very things I really want to do or try and haven’t in fear of whatever it is that has me fearful about it. Many of us are like this. It’s not fair. Put a stop to the judgement. Now I get it, if you have a family member on drugs, or your Spouse is cheating, or people are being racist or doing and saying things that are just out right degrading and disgusting or disrespectful by all means be concerned and seek help and support them or whoop their ass…. ok maybe not the violence. But if you are not being hurt by someone’s choices in adventure, or exploration and experiences then stop judging them and BE Unashamed of them. Stop judging yourself and live a little if it’s what you too want and BE Unashamed of your experiences. Don’t like it and it’s not for you then don’t do it again.
Shame is a very dark work in my opinion. It’s something that is so hard from us to come out of. It hangs over us like dark clouds and creates depression and other dark ways of being. I really encourage that we release the word ashamed and replace it with concerned. Unless someone is truly just a dark person and is purposely being shameful. If the word fits let them wear it.
BElieve, BE Free, BE YOUtiful… BE!