Ever since I can remember and I can remember very far back, I have had abandonment issues and fears. From family members separating, friendships ending, moving away (both myself and others), to even losing people to death. I have such a small immediate family and I haven’t really been connected with all of the rest of my family. To add to that I am the only child and it absolutely frightens me that I will one day BE Alone (and not the alone I once spoke about in a past keynote).
When I was growing up, the only child, I had to learn to get by with lonely times. My imagination and creativity so great that
Often times I didn’t even notice I was alone. When I would make friends and get close to them I held on so tight as it was Always brand new to me and then I would move or they would move (military family) and boom I was heart broken and felt abandoned.
Fast forwarding to adulthood, I would find myself making friends and losing the connections for whatever reason. Either I was cutting them off (defense mechanism) before they could cut me off or they would beat me to it because I am sometimes a difficult person or the good ol moves situation (as the military life is still in me and I cant sit still anywhere).
I have learned to just BE with myself and know that I am my best company and not putting so much weight on people having to stick around with me. I trust they will and would love for them to but such is life that everything must come to an end and sometimes it’s before you want them to and often times out of your control. I have learned that no matter what everything will BE OK if I continue to love and BE there for and with myself.
I encourage everyone who has some of these same fears of losing people or not, to BE OK with just BEing. Ask for support but do not expect that support will always BE there and BE OK with getting things done on your own. BE OK with going to the movies and restaurants alone. BE OK to sit in silence with yourself. BE OK with comforting yourself during hard times while allowing others to also offer love and support. BE OK just knowing everything will BE OK and you will always BE OK in anything that you face. If you always got YOU, YOU will never BE Alone and abandonment will never BE a worry!
BElieve, BE Free, BE YOUtiful… BE!