Monthly Archives: November 2016

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Take a look all around. In the streets, on the internet, at your job, in the grocery store, of course in the club, and even in church……Thots! Home wreckers! Jezebels. Hoooooookers!!!!! 😡… Okay, I’m not really mad at them, just wanted to give you the effect for the topic I’m going into!

There are so many “things” that we can lose our “love” to. Lost of interest, lack of sex, BAD SEX, financial issues, different living styles, SLUTS!!!!! 😡. (There’s that special effect again). Whatever reason you’ve come up with in your head of how you can lose the guy/girl your with currently, let it go! When we get all worried, we start to smother our lovers, holding them so tight they literally can’t breathe. Or maybe not start to do these things, we are just ones who cling from the beginning! Stop it! I have been the one holding on too tight and I have been the one held way too tight and it’s not cute either way! It’s just not healthy! There are many ways to hold on to tight. Here are some of my experiences.

  1. The 1,2 checkup: This is the phone checker, the one who checks in 50 times a day and if they only check back 49 times there’s a problem. They want to keep you in check!

*raises hand* I have been this guy! I’ve also been with this guy! It’s not cute on either side! Give space to your lover. A reason for them to miss you during the day. Save some of what happened throughout the day for a conversation over dinner or chill time. If when you text or call them and they don’t answer right away, stop assuming they are doing something wrong and give them a chance to become available to hit you back. It could be that they are truly busy! Driving, in conversation or an innocent situation to where they can’t answer at that moment. It’s not all about you and stop thinking it is! This is suffocating and will only cause tension for them and major doubt in your mind.

  1. The over pleaser: This is the person that buys you anything you want, bends over backwards, walks on eggshells around you, agrees with almost everything you say, it’s all about you while they sit in the back forgetting themselves. (Please read this in first person also because you could be the one!)

*raises hand* i haven’t been the one doing this much (because I am outspoken and not the one to back down often) but I have def been the one with the guy like this! It gets old and boring and starts to not feel real. We humans live for a bit of a challenge. Maybe not an argument, but it’s healthy to disagree sometimes. It’s important to have respect for yourself and to get the same thing in return that you are giving. To shower with gifts, tip toe and let everything be someone else’s way only turns into an avenue for someone to use you and take advantage. What happens when you can’t give them their way anymore? …… exactly. I feel personally I have been spoiled in some relationships to where I was turned off and didn’t feel any of it was out of love but yet a token to make me stay and it takes more than materialistic things to keep me! Stop smothering lovers with everything you have! Love should be enough and everything else is a special surprise!

  1. The “promise me” and “please don’t leave me” and the “I could never live or love again without you”: This person wants a promise ring or something that shows you will “always be faithful and never leave them”. (  been there ,have plenty of rings to prove it, lol). They ask you over and over again if you are happy with them and make you say I love you and express your love for them from 1 minute to the next. (Yup! Also been me!). They say they could never love or go on with life without you, hysterically! (Skirrrrrrrrrt no bitch, never been me!) 😜

*stares off in the distance in a daze* *snaps back into the present * ….. stop it stop it and stop it! Making someone promise with a symbolic item or make verbal promises that we all know could be broken is childlike and immature and a set up for disaster. Instead just love and BE loved! BE in the moment. If someone leaves or doesn’t want you anymore let them go! Silly to want to hold on to someone who doesn’t want to be held on to.

  1. The tag along or no one goes: this is the person who always wants to go where you go and hang out with you 24/7 . With your family, with your boys/girls, work events, all that. Or is the person that wants you to go everywhere with them! No space at all.

*turns red with an awkward smile on face, slowly raising hand* : dammit I hate to admit it but I have been this guy! I have also been on the other end to where I was controlled. Many relationships. To where my lovers stopped having lives and I in return stopped having my own separate life and we made each other our lives and resentment came about and regret. I mean if you can’t trust your mate to go out with friends or have a separate life from yours then why be with them?

  1. The cell phone operator: this is the one who goes through your phone constantly and questioning shot because it just doesn’t add up!

*blank stare* we will not elaborate on this. And yes I have been him and have dated him. Smh

Why are we holding on so tight?????? Listen no matter how many phone calls and texts you make, no matter how many gifts you buy, how great your sex is, no matter how much money you have, materialistic things you can produce. No matter how many promises are made and rings are bought, you can still end up losing the one you love to infidelity, conflict of interest, whatever! And no matter what dungeon you keep your lover in or how you lock them up in the basement with a leash……. okay wait this one will just send you to jail!

Truth is if the relationship you are dealing with is real true healthy love you won’t have to hold on to tightly to it. It will also choose you. Always come back to you. Respect you. Love you. Cherish you. Protect you. Holding on too tight can cause a person to become no longer attracted to you, resent you, regret you, and possibly cheat on you. (Never went there) but have broken up with great lovers due to this annnnnnnd been dismissed for the same reason (and I know I’m a great catch). If you have to go all out of your way to make sure your lover isnt going to cheat on you, do you dirty, or leave you, then you may just be in the wrong relationship or maybe you aren’t ready for a relationship and have some personal issues to work out. BE Secure in knowing that you are enough and are chosen! Start enjoying your relationships. Enjoy your space when you have it and allow them to have their space so when you get back together it’s magical. Let that “missing you” tension build up. BE Secure that you were chosen by your lover for a reason that no one else possesses. Only your love and sex and passion can hold them. Most importantly BE Secure in who you are and the fucking magic you hold in knowing that if you are getting less than you feel you deserve or your gut feelings tell you all the things you already know that are wrong In the relationship,  that you keep searching for, that you will be okay and get to move on to something better.

BElieve, BE Free, BE YOUtiful… BE!

Keone Dent

 

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Beautiful house! The landscaping compliments very well!  Gorgeous flowers, roses, daisies, azaleas. Colorful greenery, ferns, elephant ears, all of that! Surrounding these lovely plants are dark rich soils, pebbles or rocks, cedar. When this home was built, it was created with a strong foundation. Perfect number of windows for light to shine through and allow air to flow freely. The interior was something you created. You decorated to fit your likings and to allow visitors to appreciate who you are trough these special findings. This is your home! This is where you live and you should take pride in every square foot!

 

Rain pours, lightning strikes, wind blows, snow falls, earth quakes, Mother Nature takes over and now your plants are broken apart, some up rooted from the floods and the battered wind. Your house has a bit of damage! Now your landscaping is important because you don’t want to own a lovely house and have a yard that doesn’t match. However, you only have this one home and must make sure it is up to living standards. So, it is important to handle the repairs on your home before anything else. Once your home is good again visit the landscaping. Save the plants that could get through the storm. Rebuild with fresh soil, water these plants, give them space that is needed to grow within your beautiful garden. If there are any plants that did not hold up well and when trying to get them back to what they once were are still limp and not able to hold up, you wouldn’t just let them lay there taking away from your home and sucking the nutrients from the other plants growing beautifully. Let those plants go! And if there are any seeds or anything of the plant left behind I’m sure there is a chance they will grow on their own as you take care of your garden and home.

 

Now as years pass on, your home will get upgrades. Interior and the exteriors will change.  You may even do some extensions making your home much bigger than before. With these upgrades and extensions your garden may get smaller because the plants no longer go with the new design or there simply isn’t a need for so many plants. Maybe the plants required a certain amount of sunlight that is blocked a bit by the “outshine” of your new huge home or you can’t attend as much as you did to the garden because you are concentrating on your home more, which again is important because

It’s your home!!! You must learn to cherish the important things in life! Do you sleep in the garden or in your home? When you have visitors over do they sit, eat, and relax in the flower bed?

 

I went further than I wanted to in this analogy! Geesh I need to learn to keep things short and simple but anyway!

 

Your home is you! You were built and created. Your foundation strong. You took some time to recreate and develop who you were on the inside and even outside. You must take care of YOU through the storms of life. You will go through many changes including upgrades. Sometimes there will be downgrades even.

 

The plants represent others around you. Many will die off and not be able to get through the storms with you. They may not support or blend in with your upgrades or downgrades.

 

At no point, should you give up your home just to please the garden! The garden is simply an accent and for sure nice to have around but it is not needed to live and survive especially if it is not serving your “home” or the purpose you

Once thought it did. You know when plants start growing up the side of your building or attracting nasty bugs and pests or wilt and dry up we remove them, otherwise they will cause the pests to come into our homes. They will attract other pests. They will tear our foundations down clinging to and causing decay to our foundation.

 

BE Cherished! Know when you are Cherished! Are the people you are keeping around complimenting you! Do they uplift you? Do they add purpose and value to who you are? Then keep them and water them with love and shine bright upon them so they can grow and continue to serve purpose. If they are dragging you down no matter how beautiful it once was to have them around learn to let them go with the season. People are sometimes just for a season! Same as plants. You may need to replace them from time to time or simply learn it’s just not the kind of plant you ever need again.

 

Allow seasons to change! Through the seasons, BE Cherished! You are more important when it comes to your life. Listen, those other people serve as plants in your life! Vise Versa, in their life you are the Plant. If they take care of their home, they will be just fine. Don’t worry about having to let them go. They too will find plants to go in their garden, season and season again. Take care of home!

 

BElieve, BE Free, BE YOUtiful… BE!

 

Keone Dent

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So, we all know that person who lies all the time about where they’ve been, what they’ve done, basically who they are! We also know the one who is always gossiping about the next person and making it juicier by adding their own shit to the story.

We often run into the person who never has a good day, crap always happens to them. The person who just can’t understand this and that and the world is out to get them. The person who can’t keep up with their own truths because they are used to the lies they tell.

We all know and come across these people. Or wait, could you be one of these people? I know from time to time in life I have been. Hello, it’s why I can relate and came up with the keynote.

No one hears this person truly. I mean they hear the noise they are talking and it is noted. Then usually when the next group of words come out of this person’s mouth it’s even more loud noise and becomes so loud they are usually tuned out. I mean especially if you’re talking about someone they don’t know and you hardly know the person you are speaking to. Shouldn’t they be concerned that you could very well talk shit about them, the same you are about someone else that doesn’t have anything to do with them or you at that matter. Also, when you talk things that aren’t true about yourself, about how much money you have, the jobs you have had, the degrees you hold, the car you drive, the house you own, the friends you have, blazay blah blah, no one cares and if it’s not true it’s all over your face or in the words you have chosen to use to describe all these things you don’t have.

I mean really, it’s so old guys, to talk negative about others and yourself, to brag about shit you don’t have, or do have at that but aren’t doing anything with it to make a difference.

Where the world is today, we need more positivity, we need to up lift others, make them better, use our words to save someone who is hurting. Speak truth about where you have been to inspire someone else who needs to get to where you are now. Is there something you know about someone that bothers you inside and you just can’t keep quiet about it? Then why don’t you take it to that person and speak truth into them! I mean gossiping about them will eventually get back to them, right? Usually does.

I’ve said much and could say a lot more but it would just be noise! The same noise “these people” make.

BE Heard and use your words for things that matter and will make a change in people, in society, in the world. WE have already made enough noise, and look at where it’s brought us. To a noisy ass world!

BElieve, BE Free, BE YOUtiful…BE!

 

Keone Dent

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Everything in life has a time! Schedule. Reason. Purpose. The very moment you left the house you were set up for the day in a timeline. Couldn’t find your keys and it made you leave at a later time than planned? That’s because it was in your timeline. You ended up being slowed down just a bit so that time would keep you on your path/journey. You meet the new people you were supposed to meet, run into the old people you were supposed to run into. Maybe dodged danger, or was placed there to save someone from danger! Time is in everything.

 

Especially in our words! The conversations we have, the compliments we receive and give away, when we confront one another for some drama or whatever it may be there is a time for everything said! Our words should count for something! To uplift someone, to educate, to assist, to save, to love, to explain, to teach, and even to sit someone down and make it known that a specific thing they did good or bad affected you!

 

However, when using our words we should really take our time and use our words wisely so that they count and keep within our time line.

 

Don’t be so quick to tell someone you are in love with them or just say the words because it was sad to you and you feel obligated. Or thinking that if you say I love you it will keep them a bit longer with you. You change their timeline and your own and for what? Make sure your words are true and meaningful. Truth is if this isn’t the person you truly love you may be telling the universe/ God that you are there already and stop the timeline of the right person coming along. Plus now you have stopped the other person in your life from obtaining true love because you toyed with the words and gave them hope that they finally found love and guess what, you haven’t only messed with their timeline, you have now f’d up your own Karma! Hello somebody! Do it to someone and it gets done to you and maybe in the worst way!

 

We must stop also giving false hope in time. If someone invites you out and you know you don’t want to go or you can’t, just say so from the get go! Nothing like having someone set plans and include you and then breaking the invitation (as you knew damn well you weren’t going to be down to chill). You have now changed the timeline of the person who set the plans to begin with! Vice versa, be simple and clear when inviting one out. Of course, emergencies come up, but if you are a person who doesn’t often commit or have a busy life that often is interrupted with surprises, try and make sure that you will be able to commit to a plan you are including someone else in so that you don’t place them in an inconvenience of changing their timeline. Also!!!!! Stop showing up late! That’s another keynote so I digress!

 

Most importantly, do not be so quick to speak out of anger. When we call people bitches, telling them they ain’t worth shit, putting them down in anyway, yelling I hate you, placing blame, just being plain hurtful because we have been angered we are speaking to their souls! People hear these things and it resonates and weighs heavy on them and many times we didn’t mean what we said or even how we said it and now it’s been said and lots of times cannot be taken back and you’ve just ruined a friendship prematurely or lost your true love, (enter other examples here) I mean endless list of things that could be changed for the bad based on your words.

 

You know this just popped in my head, what if you say the wrong thing in anger to the wrong person and they go all serial killer on you and take your life? Ooop no more timeline.

 

BE Careful not to slow down, speed up, or even stop time with your words! Take some time to think before you speak. Make sure your words are real and have true meaning. I mean if you are ready to call someone a bitch, make sure they really are one. Lol. No seriously just listen to your inner voice before allowing words to come through out loud. Imagine these words good or bad, lies or truth, being said to you and how it would affect you. If you don’t know how to find the words or think they will come out wrong, then take your time to find the words or explain where they are coming from in a disclaimer filled with love. Wait until you know you truly love someone before saying it! Let your anger subside before you have the conversation. Or simply just know when you shouldn’t say anything thing at all!

BElieve, BE Free, BE YOUtiful…BE!

Keone Dent

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I am so nervous about posting this keynote blog, but it must be done. I’ll get right into it.

I was always a pretty good kid. Raised respectful and to love life and myself. I am also a very creative and imaginative person and so that brings many curiosities! Some curiosities lead to doing things that you later wish you never did.

I have many secrets as we all do. Some of mine have hung over my head because I know it is not who I truly am or who I want to be or judged by.

21 years old. A virgin. Never did drugs (well other than weed but hello!) wasn’t a drinker. Not a saint either, but nothing majorly shameful. Well I moved to Florida to take care of my grandparents around this time and man did it feel like freedom. I only visited Florida as a child but never lived there. Everything was brand new to me and a chance for me to find out who I was as I feel I sort of lived a sheltered military life. Here goes, I lost my virginity to someone that meant nothing and was super ugly, lmao. I ran with the wrong people and was introduced to cocaine and became addicted for an entire week! I then started drinking and learned I liked the feeling of the buzz. Well, long list of bad stories short I didn’t become a whore, and I stopped using cocaine but the drinking and going out all the time never ceased and the weed smoking increased! I mean complete pot head! It was so easy as I was an artist performing and had a quick day job and lots of free time.

I’ve always been a person who recreates himself and makes changes and most times it’s for the better. So to get away from Florida and these bad habits I was creating I decided to enrolled into Job Corps. Before taking off to Kentucky I made a quick pit stop in North Carolina where I originally lived before going to Florida and my mommy still lived there. While there for about a couple of weeks I was still smoking weed and bored out my mind! I was also a poet so I was writing a lot of spoken word! That deep tie your hair in a wrap and drag everyone trough your deep dark pain and call it inspirational but it was all depressing. lol. I was depressed but hid it so well! Anyway. To inspire myself with my writing as I also liked to write about other people’s experiences and then speak them in the form of it being my own story for a creative flair I used to go down to an area in Jacksonville NC called Court Street. This is where all the pimps and hoes and drug dealers and addicts hung around. I made friends with them and would basically interview them and they would share their crazy stories and I would turn them into poetry. I trusted them, they loved me, weird!

I met a guy who was on an electric scooter and was one of the main pimps. We became close (well what appeared close lol) and he would tell me all the time I didn’t belong down there and was on my way to ruining my life. I explained oh I’m not a prostitute or on drugs just down here hanging out! Lmaoooo why in the hell was I hanging out in these streets? I have no idea where my head really was. Anyway he smoked crack. And you guessed I tried a puff. Hated it.  But oh my God I did it. I did crack. Even if it was just a pull! Smh. While high on my little puff a car rolls around with a very attractive man in the drivers seat, a marine. Clean looking, the man, expensive, his car. He calls out the window, eh man where the chicks at. I replied, oh I’m not a pimp just chillin. Next thing out of his mouth was, what about you? You wanna make some money? My heart raced, blood boiling, I was actually a little offended. Do I look like a hoe? I look trashy to you SIR! This is what I wanted to say! I was still a bit high and umm I didn’t have much money, so instead I walked a little closer and asked, make money doing what? I don’t prostitute so I don’t know what it’s all about. He said I’ll give you 50 dollars for a blow job. I said oh no thanks. He said 100. I hesitated and said okay. Got in the car, we drive off, I did the deed, I got paid, I got out of the car, my high came down and I felt disgusting! I sat on a bench and cried. Another car pulled around. Another cute marine asking me to jack him off for 20 dollars. I walked to the car and got in and same pattern, returned back to where he picked me up and sat in the bench and cried with 120 dollars in my pocket. I couldn’t stay down here! I couldn’t ever come back! So I left! Never went back!

I could have caught a disease, hiv/aids, became addicted to drugs again, I could have been arrested, I could have been killed!!!!!!!!

My whole point in exploiting this story about myself is that although I experimented and tried and did some pretty awful things I was Clear that it was not my life and that I was worth more and created for better. Therefore I didn’t stay on this path. Most importantly, even though they were secrets that no one ever knew about me (even my mommy will be seeing this for the first time) I did them! I knew I did these things and I was not happy about it. I kept it for many years. And many times it resurfaced in my mind as I never let it go thinking I was all of these things. A prostitute, a drug addict, living in secret (as everyone thought I was not this guy) and sometimes the feeling stayed with me and I thought of doing all of these things again especially when I would fall depressed or lonely. Thank goodness I never fell back on these things and I will never again! It is because I am CLEAR that this old person isn’t who I am and It was simply something I went through. It is my testimony that we do not have to bE held in captivity for any of the bAd shit we may have done in the past and it does not stop us from being the best we can be today even if your bad shit just happened yesterday!

BE Clear! BE Clear that you are not made up of what you thought you were from the past! BE Clear that your bad ways are simply a path you were placed on to come out of it and help someone else through their bad path. BE Clear that today you get to choose who you are and what you will do in life going forward! Secrets are sometimes fun to have and keep! Some secrets can haunt you and hold you back from BEing the best BEing you were intended to be! Let them go! Let all of that shit go because it’s not you anymore! If you are currently in some shit, let it go and choose at this moment that it is not you! Not the life you were intended to live! Share your secrets when you are ready so that others can see who you are now by learning where you came from! Honestly, secrets are written on our faces and in our hearts and hold our lights dull. It is not only your story to keep to yourself and if you do, it may be hard to truly move forward! BE Clear today by Clearing your conscience!

BElieve, BE Free, BE YOUtiful…BE

Keone Dent

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Imagine climbing on top, sliding down, straddling, riding and twisting on a BIG pile of regret! No satisfaction there!

Now that I have your attention, hello there! This keynote means a great deal to me because not only have I had many regrets and witnessed others who are still living with the regrets, but because I have learned it’s never too late to reverse the regretful feelings.

As many of you know I have had my share of being in the entertainment field in numerous ways. I’ve recorded music professionally, acted on many stages, dabbled in modeling, been the lead in an independent movie, won awards, performed and entertained and then sat around waiting for shit to come to me as I thought I was already there. Hahahahahagag! Hello regret!

I remember when I first performed in my first Broadway show thinking, oh I’ve made it now. They loved me! After the first show, came a tour, after the tour, came ballet troupes, acting troupes, independent movies, lead roles, all things I just fell into and really do feel blessed about it. But as I got older and then started venturing out (moving around) I wasn’t that known guy anymore. Some bridges burned because of my attitude and not being consistent as I thought who I was, was enough! I mean everything I ever became involved with I gave my all during the performances but when it came to looking up auditions and going to them I was lazy! If something went wrong or I felt unappreciated, I spoke my mind and moved on to something else but yet didn’t move on to something else just basically left and then sat and waited for something else to “come along”.

Same thing in past relationships, not being completely happy, but just settling or sitting around waiting for change to take place. “Maybe it will get better” I would often say. Only to find the more I sat around waiting, the more hurt, depressed and angry I became. Regretting that I didn’t just stay single and date and enjoy life and allow the real true thing to be found and to find me. Blah blah and you get it!!

I won’t continue telling you my woes. Yet I do want to encourage everyone of you that while you can, go for whatever it is that you want in life and BE Satisfied.

Even all the way down to pleasures in life. Don’t regret not going after that man or woman you thought you would never have a chance with. Who cares if they turn you down. Jump out of that plane! Go on that trip! If your single, have casual sex, date around, do whatever you want in life! Even if you want to just sit, then dammit sit! However, sit only to rest! Don’t sit around waiting for life to happen because it is almost guaranteed that the only thing that will come to you is regret and wishing you did more! BE Satisfied in life and get off your ass and make life happen!

BElieve, BE Free, BE YOUtiful… BE!

Keone Dent

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