Monthly Archives: March 2016

reallyreal

I LOVE to laugh! I LOVE to give advice. I ask for advice. I like to tell past stories. I listen to some. I like company. I like attention. I ALWAYS HAVE TO KEEP IT REAL. I have met a lot of people through life. Especially now being a flight attendant I appear closer to more than I ever have. Appear! I have sat on jump seats with many co-workers, heard their stories, shared mine, laughed, and when the trip was over, never heard from them again. I have shared deep stories with one person. A few trips later I have heard my story told back to me word for word from someone not even connected to anything. I have been asked for advice and given all of my truth only to be judged. I have paid for meals. I have had my meals paid for. I have swum, sat on the beach, went out to clubs, boat rides, mountain climbing, long walks, many chats, lots of drinking, cried, hugged, and LAUGHED with MANY people even outside of my job. Still, not all of them are considered friends.

In my opinion you can’t truly call someone friend unless you have been to hell with them and when you came back they were still there to help get all the ash debris from hell off of you. I personally want to know that if we disagree, fight, and argue that we will still be able to move around it. When we apologize, it comes from a place that is saying I love you and I hurt you and because your hurting, I hurt too. I want to know that when I share a personal story and ask for advice, that I won’t be judged but yet the truth with charity of course will be used in advising me.

Simply put, I learned through many years and most times the hard way that not everyone is or will be your friend. Typically, we as humans like to chat with strangers, we NEED to laugh, we like sharing common stories and lots of times strangers are nice. When you have a short, quick connection with someone like this it’s easy to say, “we are a lot alike, we get along, WE GOTTA KEEP IN CONTACT and REMAIN FRIENDS. It’s worst if we are already in a lonely state of emotion. I’m not knocking this down. Friends are made from strangers sure, but in this day we are giving that title away to easy and in many situations the title is given to those that don’t want or deserve it. The ones who are there for us and considered real friends are replaced because of a fight/disagreement, pettiness.

Jokes are funny and will be laughed at. Stories that are heart wrenching make us cry and causes us to empathized or maybe common stories allow us to sympathize with one another. You will be treated to dinner, gifts will be given, discounts, I might even throw you a buddy pass but listen, THAT DOESN’T MAKE US FRIENDS! These are natural emotions, kind gestures and yes, possibly the start of a great friendship.

BE Real! Realize that some people you come across were just meant for that moment/season. Company is sent when needed. Many times God/the Universe speaks to us through these short encounters and that’s all it was intended for. BE Real, and choose your friendships wisely based time and energy. BE Real and understand that even those you call friend may not BE your friend at all. I mean really, you could be blind folded, taken to the club, loud music, lots of drinks. Write down stories and pass them to the other person who is blind folded. Laugh, possibly cry. Take the blind folds off and discover you have been partying with the enemy the whole time. Right? BE REAL!

Believe, BE Free, BE YOUtiful…BE!

Keone Dent

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sensens

You probably know me as a witty, no filter, doesn’t care if it offends, sarcastic, if it bothers you then it might be true, get over it kind of guy. I grew up with tough love myself and for me it worked. What started as a defense mechanism (my sassy, snippy, jokes) became a I’m going to secretly attack you before you can get at me. Especially if I have an audience and your face was all screwed up from emotion. Not a good look! I went from being the victim to being the bully and didn’t even know it! I was the “SOFT” bully. Not the “give me your lunch money” I’m going to meet you after school and kick your ass kind. I was the maybe your mom won’t let you go to the prom because it appears that 8 laser lights are being pointed directly at your face and she fears snipers are after you, I’m just joking, we are friends, type of bully. Funny? Until you realize I’m talking about his or hers face being infested with pimples. SMH. I didn’t know what kind of affect I had on people with my “silliness”. What did I did know was I had friends who were strong minded and tough and people thought I was funny and I was no longer the victim. No the victim of bullying, but now, I was the victim of “I’m so misunderstood”, I don’t have good friends with substance, no one ever stays close. These were the results of my “awesome” personality. It was my reason to change, just a little change, I mean the people who can take it and know me for my hard joking and throw it back shouldn’t be an issue. WRONG! I actually one day met my match. A girl who could stab with her tongue all while offering you her hand in comfort. We started bantering so hard. I hit her low, she would already be down low to meet me with her comeback. It turned from jokes and laughs to anxiety building up inside of me. Her tone was getting stronger and more devilish (a word my Granddaddy Dent Uses). I mean she took truth from my life and made it the Queens of comedy part 2 “meet the queen of all queens and I mean faggot, Keone Dent. I mean that deep folks! I felt so low for a few days. Hurt. Bothered. Started questioning if some of the things she said were truly how I was viewed. What was worst was of course our banter was out loud for the others to hear so I was the center of attention, in a bad way, for a while. I was never physically suicidal but mentally this made me clock out a bit. I started thinking. What if I was someone not so in control and weak to the point I would want to cause harm to myself. Or worse! WHAT IF I WANTED TO END HER? GASP!!!!!

We have to be careful with our words, even in joking. You do not know what it can cause. Someone may laugh with you and joke back and appear to be the strongest person alive but in reality can be hanging on to their last breath and ready to clock out from one word that comes out of your mouth. I still have my wits, sarcasm is about 80%, and I will always be about tough love, but I have learned in many situations I must BE Sensitive to others feelings. Many terrible outcomes can result in this joking harshly. I was recently told by a coworker who also happens to be a writer herself that I look up to, that I offended her with my “joking” and she pointed out how people may like me and who I am but basically I could end up lonely because no one would want to be around me (not her exact words but I’m dramatic so….). I’ve learned now to cut back a bit. With some I have safety words that mean you’re going too far. Others I give a disclaimer up front that I’m this guy but if it ever becomes too much just shut me down. Most importantly I just approach everyone with a bit of caution until I know they can play with me.  Sometimes I lose focus and slip back but then I remember this could be their last breath or worst, they could be planning out my last breath!

Believe, BE Free, BE YOUtiful…BE!

Keone Dent

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selffirst

 

IMAGINE a machine in the shape of a heart. It is powered by LOVE which it generates itself. It works alone, no human hands needed to operate it. However once in a while it does rely on a little maintenance from a life form. Its main purpose is to take that love it’s generated and spread it to everyone else. It is programed to spread the exact same love it generates. NOW, imagine it stops working! The love it once generated is slowly running out. The machine starts to spread whatever is left at the bottom of the batch until it has nothing else to give. Because this machine is still working and hasn’t been shut down it starts spreading whatever it can produce. AND IT’S NOT LOVE, it’s whatever is left in the bottom of that broken down heart. I’m still talking about the machine.

Now, imagine, YOU are that machine. You were programed to love and to spread love. Religiously or worldly speaking. If you believe in the bible God says we are to love one another. If you believe in Buddha, then you know many of his proverbs include “loving yourself”, ‘Loving others”. Hippies say, make LOVE not war. Even atheist know what LOVE is. LOVE is the main purpose of life.

As you love through life you will come across people who will take your love for granted. You will not be loved the way you expected in some situations. You will be heart broken, betrayed, battered, bruised, and pushed aside. The love you “generate” inside will slowly turn into bitterness and hate. Regret. Pain! This is why it is important and mandatory to LOVE YOURSELF! You have to regenerate that love through you from you in order to know how to love someone else. You spread whatever you are! Bitter, sad, to happy, mad. It is important to know what you are spreading. You could end up finding that one who does love you and push them away because you are not able to love as you should because your machine (heart) is on empty.

LOVE YOURSELF. Put yourself first when it comes to health, mentally and physically. It is very much needed to love others to meet our lives purpose but in order to do that we MUST find love inside of ourselves. Once we find love in ourselves we will be able to see real love in others. In this case of loving yourself it is okay to BE Selfish! Learn to love yourself the way you expect to be loved. BE Selfish, and pick and choose who you allow to love/”love” you.  If something is not healthy for you, causing you stress, to lose or forget who you are, BE Selfish, love yourself and remove yourself from that situation. Friendship, relationship, and sometimes even family! Point Blank and Simple. When it comes to self-love, BE Selfish!

Believe, BE Free, BE YOUtiful…BE!

Keone Dent

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discern

theone

This Keynote is one of my favorites. It came from an evening of arguments and being indecisive. In my past I didn’t make choices based off of my own feelings but yet the feelings of another person. NEVER AGAIN! You not only end up hurting yourself, you end up hurting everyone involved. Often times, when we are unsure and not happy in an area of life, we make quick decisions that are solely based on emotions. Making assumptions in our heads and sometimes acting on impulse and giving up. I feel I have done this so much in the past. I sit and think of all the things I’ve lost, the good jobs I’ve left, the people I’ve hurt. Some would say, including me, that it’s okay because the path has gotten me to where I am today. What if however, I’ve missed or passed up something that was meant for me and only that one chance came along to keep it?

Discernment: (dictionary) The ability to judge well.

(Christian Content) Perception in the absence of judgement with a view to obtaining spiritual direction and understanding.

Many in the religious field believe that not all have the “gift” of discernment. My opinion? We all have it; it works something like our intuition. We just have to learn to tap into it and make sure it is solid feeling and not a cloudy head causing confusion and crazy assumptions.

Smart and wise are very similar words. Know the difference!

Smart: Having or showing a quick- witted intelligence.

Wise: Having or showing experience, knowledge, and good judgement.

The Keynote says be smart and stay and wise and walk away but it could be switched around. Wise stay, smart leave. Just the same, you can discern good and also bad.

I had a few personal examples to share with you but then I realize I need those examples to explain other keynotes. So I’ll just break it down. Don’t make silly mistakes based on just what you feel emotionally.

So you’re not super excited about your job anymore, or maybe you don’t get along with a few people in the office. This job feeds you, pays your bills, and there is possible room for growth in the company. BE SMART and stay! Wait it out, hope for the best. However, let’s say this job is harmful to your health. Dead end entry level, your boss doesn’t appreciate you and your health is in danger from all the stress you bring home. BE WISE and know you got to get out there and find something else! YET, go back and BE SMART and know you can’t leave until you find another job.

In your relationship, your partner has a few habits that are driving you nuts. They smoke, they complain, they snore, they are gaining weight, whatever you can imagine. Deeply they love you and treat you well. BE SMART, keep them. But BAAAAABBEEEE if they are abusive, their story changes up and you start losing trust for them, BE WISE and let it go!

SIMPLE! I don’t even have to go deep to get this message across. In all situations we must use our intelligence and our wisdom and determine what is best for us. BE Discerning and learn to discern what is best for YOU in all situations. You don’t want to walk away from something that may be making you stronger but you don’t want to stay with anything that is slowly taking you away from being the greatest you can be. Most importantly, you don’t want to make a decision based on emotions, losing a blessing, gaining stress, all because you weren’t able to discern between the two.

Believe, BE Free, BE YOUtiful…BE!

Keone Dent

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pity

Whether it is a club party, house party, street party, block party, birthday party, with alcohol, without, DJ, Radio, or live band, I will dance my ass off all night! Start a pity party and watch me turn around and walk away real fast. Don’t misunderstand me, I pity myself a lot and cry and pout and woe is me, blah bah, but….TO MYSELF! Not everyone wants to hear all of that negativity!

I used to throw a good pity party! People used to come to them and make me feel like I threw the best! Eventually, they stopped coming to them! I GET IT! There is nothing worse than being around someone who is being so negative and down on themselves. Now, to be emotional about something that has affected you badly is understandable and deserves an ear. Pity is opposite! It’s when one complains about misfortunes they feel they have from other people. I only have 46 subscribers to this blog and I know others read it and don’t click like or share or comment and it hurts my feelings. Its stopping me from being the best inspirational blogger I can be. BIH Please! Didn’t that sound ridiculous? To me it did. Usually one pity’s over and over again and it gets old!

It’s almost like the boy who cried wolf. Remember that story? A boy tells a lie and another until no one believes him and then something really happens and too late! Everyone already knows him as a liar. Same for people who pity themselves over and over again. Eventually everyone will connect you to being a complainer of life and the moment you really need someone to listen to your pain,………(EYE ROLL)……..BYE GIRL!

Listen, if things are bad for you in any part of your life it is okay to complain and express it! However, once you acknowledge it and voice it, work at changing it! Okay so your job doesn’t treat you as you feel you deserve they should? Apply for another job! You don’t have any friends around who show you how important you are? Make some! No one calls you on the phone anymore CALL THEM! Your biracial and you don’t feel you fit in? find others who are different and fit in with them. OKAY so you get most of these are my own pity’s, but you get it!

The point is that being down all the time and inviting everyone to dance with your woes is pitying yourself and its hardly considered a party! Instead of being down and out all the time try finding a few positive things in life to BE Cheerful about. If you do this, you will eventually see things around you change for the better! There is so much power in the tongue! You being negative and pitying yourself will allow everyone who sense’s it the opportunity to keep you down! Being Cheerful will bring so much positivity to you and everyone around you! IT WILL SURELY CHANGE YOUR LIFE! Now, THAT”S something to dance to!

BEieve, BE Free, BE YOUtiful…BE!

Keone Dent

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I give up on Men/Women! I’m NEVER dating again. This is what we all usually say at the close of a relationship after we declare and talk ourselves into “They aint shit”! I know! I just recently said it. Truth is, we shouldn’t be over dating and we should not be over being found. It’s usually when we don’t love ourselves completely that we “give up” because we really don’t know what we want or need in a relationship until we know what we want and need about ourselves!

Ever Been to the pound looking for a dog? Or have you ever considered adopting a child? Well they were once given up on right? An owner who couldn’t afford to take care of the dog or a woman not ready for motherhood gives her child up for adoption. Given up on right? Now the animal or child waits for someone to come along who will want to give them a chance. Same in Love people! Just because one person gave up on you, decided they were not ready, or simply “wasn’t shit” doesn’t mean there isn’t that one person out there that can love and be there for you, how you deserve.

Not only YOU deserve this true love but they deserve it too. If you give up, you are blocking the blessing for the one to come along and claim THEIR PRIZE! Listen, when you go into the pound or the adoption agency it’s not just the dog or the baby that is getting a loving family they deserve. You are also being rewarded with what you need. Companion, LOVE!

Most importantly, LOVE YOURSELF! Maybe this is why the past relationships haven’t worked. You haven’t learned to love yourself completely and YOU are relying on the love of others. Not gonna work my friend! Maybe the person who deserves your love and you deserve to be loved by is YOURSELF. Once you learn to love yourself you will know exactly how to be loved truly and will know exactly how to screen your daters and know who is supposed to love you!

In many of my past relationships I put much of myself aside. I wasn’t being loved the way I felt I wanted to be. I adapted, I blended, I made it what I wanted/needed without it really being. Each time I said I’m good without a relationship and even went years without one. My last relationship was forced. We did love each other eventually but neither one of us were right for the other from the beginning. Basically we weren’t completely right with ourselves. A form of “Settling” without being “settled”. After my last relationship ended (not long ago either) I decided I wasn’t going to “date” with a “purpose” anymore. I was just going to be casual…AKA…a Whore!…. Big mistake. That brought emptiness! Losing self. It takes a special person with low self-esteem to be a whore….I know! I’m only speaking from experience so if you are in this position but do not consider yourself a whore then I’m not talking to you.…. I didn’t like the path I was thinking I wanted to be on. So I went into heavy mode of loving me and planning for me. Taking care of me. In the process, and a short amount of time, I found someone who came unexpected and was what I wanted physically and mentally. I was hesitant! VERY HESITANT… I don’t want to go through this again. This new relationship is still a bit scary but in a different way! I have other keynotes that will explain but I’ll stay on subject for now. Even though it’s scary, it’s been a blessing so far. I found motivation to do the things I have been planning to do for a while and HE SUPPORTS ME. When we disagree sometimes I read the hell out of him and while reading him I end up reading myself and HE AGREES to EVEN DISAGREE with me. WE LAUGH, WE LIVE, WE LOVE! I would have never experienced this feeling or been pushed into the next season of my life had I “been done” with relationship. I’m not dumb or in LALA land! I know this too could end one day but I’m not focused on that. I’m Living, Laughing, loving and most importantly BEING LOVED for today which will soon be tomorrow and hopefully turn into forever but if it doesn’t….Guess WHAT? I love myself and I will always have me!

Do keep in mind that it may take a few dates to find the one but until you do, have fun, learn, grow, BE LOVED, and start by being loved by YOU!

Believe, Be Free, Be YOUtiful…BE

Keone Dent

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